Archive for kink

What do I get out of submission?

Posted in Dominance/submission, Kink, Personal, Sex with tags , , , on February 16, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

I have made no secret about being in a relationship that includes a certain amount of power exchange. I am a submissive woman. People have asked me why more times than I can count now. Now, I don’t presume to speak for every submissive, in fact, the only person that I speak for in this post is myself, but it’s something that I want to answer.

Submission is the act of giving a specified amount of control of your life over to someone else. This can be everything from just letting them tell you what they want you to do in the bedroom, all the way to giving them complete control over most aspects of your life. On the spectrum, I fall closer to the conservative end. My partner has a certain say so over what I can and cannot do, but I also have a significant amount of autonomy and there are certain things that I would never give someone else to control. Read more »

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ShibariCon or Why everyone should go to a convention

Posted in Kink, Personal with tags , , on January 29, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

Yes, I am going to write a post about a convention or “con”. I never saw myself going to a convention, let alone a convention about kinky sex. Seriously, who does that? Apparently I do, and let me tell you, it was by far one of the greatest experiences of my life.

For those of you who don’t know, ShibariCon is a convention held over Memorial Day Weekend (yes, four whole days [and nights] of fun) devoted entirely to the kink revolving around rope bondage, most specifically targeting Japanese rope bondage (Shibari or Kinbaku), although I did see some Western Style during the late night parties. Read more »

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Erotic Spanking

Posted in Communication, Kink, Personal with tags , , on January 25, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

How many of you have ever smacked your partner’s ass during sex? How many of you have thought about it? Erotic spanking is one of the most common kinks in the world. Why? You ask. Well that’s what we’re here to talk about today. Read more »

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Sensory Deprivation

Posted in Kink, Sex with tags , , on December 31, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

Have you ever wondered why people use blindfolds in the bedroom? Sensory deprivation is an entire category of kinks but is very easily incorporated into a vanilla relationship. Even something as simple as a blindfold can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. It can be erotic, terrifying, and exciting all at the same time. Let’s talk about how. Read more »

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What is a “Play Party”?

Posted in Kink with tags , on December 31, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

Today is going to be a double post day. This first post is for all of you that are just starting the venture into the kink world or somehow just stumbled upon my blog and found you liked reading it. Anyone who has heard me talk about kink has heard me mention that I was going to a “play party”. This phrase invariably leads to questions and usually a lot of misunderstanding, so I’m going to try to explain what a play party is. Read more »

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Domabees and other creatures we wish were mythical

Posted in Kink, Safety, Uncategorized with tags , , on December 15, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

The kink community has been a wonderful, open group of people that have helped me grow, learn, experience, question, and change. Unfortunately, there exists, as in every group, some people that are not people you want to be around. One of the most dangerous types out there, are the people we endearingly (or scathingly) call, Domabees. These are people that identify themselves as Dominants, but in reality they’re just manipulative assholes. Now, I know all of you people not involved in the kink scene are thinking “assholes exist in every group, what makes this so-called ‘Domabee’ so dangerous? Read more »

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Why Rope?

Posted in Kink, Personal with tags , , on November 21, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

I will be the first person to tell you that I am a complete and total rope-slut. The feeling of being bound and helpless is one of the biggest turn-ons in the world to me. There are many types of bondage and each has its advantages and its disadvantages, but for me, rope is the best. There isn’t another form of bondage that I’ve tried that even comes close to matching rope and I want to talk about why.
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Living a Double Life

Posted in Dating, Polyamory with tags , , on November 6, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

I am proud of who I am. I am polyamorous, kinky, and happy but in the real world, this can be a dangerous combination. My generation has made great strides towards tolerance and acceptance, especially on the topic of homosexuality. In the United States, for the first time in recorded history, more than 50% of people believe that gay marriage should be legal! Sadly the same gains have not been made in the other alternative sexualities, making many of us partaking in them having to hide part of ourselves from other people. Read more »

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Bringing Toys into the Bedroom

Posted in Sex with tags , , on November 3, 2011 by TarnishedHalo
Many couples get stuck in ruts in their relationship. One or both of them begins to get bored with their sex life and sometimes they stop having sex all together. Toys in the bedroom can be a great way to spice up your sex life. There are tons of toys made for couples that can even be used during intercourse. Read more »

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Negotiation – Communication before things go too far

Posted in Communication with tags , , , on October 19, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

In the kink community, negotiations are a vital task before two or more people play with each other. During negotiations, the people planning to participate in the scene sit down and discuss everything about the scene. Anyone with physical limitations such as weak ankles, back problems or a tendency to pass out brings them up at this time. Everyone also discusses any hard limits that they may have. These can be anything from “you can’t hit me on the bottoms of my feet” to “I will not participate in anything that involves bodily fluids”. Generally there will also be a discussion on what each person likes and dislikes. There is little point to having a scene if someone doesn’t like what is going on in it. This just leads to feelings of resentment and anger all around. One last thing, and probably the most important thing, that is discussed is a safe word. Safe words are a word that if said during a scene to stop the scene immediately, for any reason: physical, mental, emotional, or any combination of these and more.

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