I decided today that I want to share with all of you how I came to be who I am today. I did not start out sex positive in my life, quite the opposite in fact. I was raised by a very conservative Catholic family in a very conservative part of the country. I even went to Catholic school for more than half of my years in school. I believed that I was not going to do anything beyond kiss my boyfriend until I got married, and I actually believed this through my first year of college.
There were a number of influential people in my life that helped to shape me into who I am today, but a lot of credit certainly goes to the first man I loved. He began to show me that sexuality wasn’t necessarily wrong and that a lot of fun could be had if you go beyond kissing, but I never did sleep with him and that’s okay, but he did start me down the road of “corruption”. It was around this time that I started believing that waiting until marriage was not the right path for me.
After this relationship ended, I continued to explore my sexuality with later boyfriends. I never did have sex with them though. I had a number of emotional hang ups there, and with oral sex. I could not bring myself to try either of those. I just wasn’t ready. Then I flew to Phoenix, Arizona for a leadership conference. On the flight home, I met a man that, I can say without a single doubt in my mind, truly changed my life forever.
He was charming and sweet, funny and extremely intelligent. We talked for hours that day, exchanged phone numbers and I went my way and he went his, which was, sadly, seven hundred miles in a different direction. We continued to talk though, daily, constantly. He came out to me as kinky. I was absolutely fascinated with the idea. I knew that I liked to be pinned down while I was rolling around with guys but didn’t know what it was. I was very naive. Well, as is my normal fashion, when I’m interested in something, I ask tons of questions. I constantly berated him with questions and a month after meeting him in that airport, I went to visit him, much to the concern of my friends. Reflecting on it, it was one of the most dangerous things I had ever done, but I trusted him, so I went.
It was an amazing trip. He tied me up, spanked me, and introduced me to the Hitachi Magic Wand. I wanted to have sex with him then. I wanted to lose my virginity to him, but as has been pretty consistent since I met him, he knew better than I did what I needed and told me “no”. I went home completely changed and addicted to rope. As we lived so far apart, it was silly for us to have a relationship, so we didn’t. He met a girl near him and fell in love. It hurt me, quite a lot but I got through it, thanks very much in part to my current boyfriend.
We started out as friends and then started hanging out very shortly after “airport boy” had told me about his new girlfriend. My now boyfriend and I were hanging out because I was going through major rope withdrawal. Anyone who enjoys being tied up will understand the feeling. Well, he was interested in learning rope, so we started hanging out as friends, with a unique shared hobby. Eventually, with a little more drama in the middle (I was dating someone else, that really wasn’t right for me), we started to realize we had feeling for each other and started dating for real. I lost my virginity to him, and have not regretted it once. I know I never will.
I remained in close contact with “airport boy” through the entire thing. Even though we couldn’t be together, we were still very good friends. I saw him try an open relationship with his girlfriend, and I saw it fail. My boyfriend and I realized that I had a lot of unresolved business with “airport boy”. I needed to visit him again. This was hard. My boyfriend wasn’t polyamorous. By this time, I had worked out that I was. He agreed to let me go and do whatever I thought I needed to with this guy, no questions asked. I can only imagine how difficult that had to be for him.
So I went. It ended up being a great experience. I confirmed with myself that I truly was polyamorous. I learned about a number of new kinks, got to explore my submissive side deeper than I ever had before, and did, finally, get to have amazing rough sex with him. I came back to my boyfriend and while I was gone, he had realized that he didn’t mind that I had slept with someone else. He is now on a journey of considering polyamory for himself. We just don’t know yet.
A few months before my second visit to “airport boy”, the boyfriend and I had started becoming active members in the local kink community. We were regularly talking to people that were open minded and had wonderful ideas. Everyone was amazing. We still go whenever we can to parties, events, and dinners. I am still very close with “airport boy” and will be visiting him again soon to explore some other kinks that I’m interested in with him, along with visiting my favorite city in the US.
I hope this story has shown you a little bit about me and has made you think about your own story. Explore your interests, you never know what is going to happen.