Erotic Spanking
How many of you have ever smacked your partner’s ass during sex? How many of you have thought about it? Erotic spanking is one of the most common kinks in the world. Why? You ask. Well that’s what we’re here to talk about today.
I’ll admit that I was incredibly nervous the first time a partner said he wanted to spank me. It brought up memories of being spanked as a child for wrong-doing. I asked myself and him, how I was supposed to take pleasure out of something that had such a negative connotation to me. (Now, I am not criticizing parents who spank their children, nor am I endorsing the decision. I am not a parent and don’t have the answer, but when this topic was first present to me, being spanked by my parents did factor in to it.) Him and I discussed it at length and I told him of my concerns of it bringing up childhood memories. He told me not to worry about it too much since erotic spanking is entirely different. In the end, I did decide to trust him and I gave my consent to try it, carefully. So he did, and he was right, erotic spankings were entirely different. For me, it was a new way of connecting with my partner. I had always loved a hand on my ass, adding in a twinge of pain with it was perfect for me.
Here’s a quick how-to manual:
Spanking is pretty easy, most everyone already knows how to do it. The tricky part is getting your partner to consent to trying it. My first suggestion is to discuss it with your partner at length. Definitely don’t just pull them across your lap or bend them over and start wailing on their ass. You wouldn’t do that with sex, so don’t do it with kink either. Explain to them that you’re interested in trying it and why. This goes for someone who wants to spank or someone that wants to be spanked. There is nothing wrong with asking for a spanking. As long as you have a communicative relationship, your partner should be at least open to listening to your thoughts. After you explain, give them a chance to respond. They may have a reason that they don’t want to try it (trauma in the past, tried before, ect.). If they seem interested, you can continue the conversation. Talk about how hard you’re going to go and how you’re going to know when you’re partner has had enough. (I strongly recommend a safe word.)
If they consent, my recommendation is to start off gently. You don’t know how much pain they like or if they are going to like the position, or anything about it. Give them a few light swats and then check-in. Ask if they liked it, how it felt, if they want you to keep going. Communication when trying something new is vital. After you (together) decide when the scene is over, talk about what each of you liked and what you didn’t. There is nothing wrong with not enjoying it, but at least you can say you tried.