I have had a significant number of people in my life come to me asking about the new book, Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James as it deals with BDSM and power exchange relationships. In order to inform them intelligently about my opinions on the books, I chose to read them myself. They have taken a lot of criticism in the kink community for a multitude of reasons, but overall, they aren’t that bad, as long as you going into it knowing that it is a work of fiction that started as Twilight fan fiction. The author never suggests that what she writes is based on fact, that being said, she did get a lot of things right about kink, but she also got a lot of things wrong. Read more »
Archive for the Sex Category
Fifty Shades of Grey Book Review
Posted in Book Reviews, Current Events, Dominance/submission, Kink, Personal, Sex with tags BDSM, Book Reviews, Dominance, fifty shades, kink, submission on June 27, 2012 by TarnishedHaloSex and Shame
Posted in Polyamory, Sex with tags freedom, religion, sex, shame on February 25, 2012 by TarnishedHaloI grew up in a Catholic family. Shame wasn’t just something that we were supposed to feel when we did something wrong. Shame was a way of life and in no larger capacity than when is comes to sex. Unfortunately this is how most people are raised. We’re taught that talking about sex is bad and having sex, although necessary, is something dirty, unspeakable, and most of all shameful. Read more »
What do I get out of submission?
Posted in Dominance/submission, Kink, Personal, Sex with tags D/s, kink, sex, submission on February 16, 2012 by TarnishedHaloI have made no secret about being in a relationship that includes a certain amount of power exchange. I am a submissive woman. People have asked me why more times than I can count now. Now, I don’t presume to speak for every submissive, in fact, the only person that I speak for in this post is myself, but it’s something that I want to answer.
Submission is the act of giving a specified amount of control of your life over to someone else. This can be everything from just letting them tell you what they want you to do in the bedroom, all the way to giving them complete control over most aspects of your life. On the spectrum, I fall closer to the conservative end. My partner has a certain say so over what I can and cannot do, but I also have a significant amount of autonomy and there are certain things that I would never give someone else to control. Read more »
Birth Control Myths Demystified
Posted in Birth Control, Safety, Sex with tags birth control, condoms, contraception, myths, safer sex, sex, the pill on February 8, 2012 by TarnishedHaloSo I had two separate discussions recently that have inspired me to write on a topic that didn’t seem to me to be of much importance. After all, everyone knows about birth control: risks, options, and efficacy, right? Apparently not. In fact, much of the “information” that I hear about it is not only wrong, but is dangerously scaring young women (and men) to forego birth control because of perceived risks that are not supported by fact, so for today we’re going to talk about some myths related to birth control. Read more »
The Importance of Sex in a Relationship
Posted in Dating, Sex with tags dating, relationships, sex on January 6, 2012 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever noticed that we’re taught that we’re supposed to wait until we’re married to have sex and after marriage, the running joke is that no one has sex anymore? A 2001 survey conducted by Durex suggested that unmarried couples have sex an average of 146 times per year, while married couples have sex only 98 times per year. Clearly, after marriage sex becomes less of a priority. Today I want to talk about why it’s important to keep your sex life active, even after you say “I do”. Read more »
Sensory Deprivation
Posted in Kink, Sex with tags blindfolds, kink, sex on December 31, 2011 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever wondered why people use blindfolds in the bedroom? Sensory deprivation is an entire category of kinks but is very easily incorporated into a vanilla relationship. Even something as simple as a blindfold can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. It can be erotic, terrifying, and exciting all at the same time. Let’s talk about how. Read more »
Things “Good Girls” Don’t Do…and why they should
Posted in Communication, Dating, Safety, Sex with tags communication, safety, sex on December 26, 2011 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever sat down and thought about all of the things that make “bad girls” bad? I’m going to guess not, but if I were to bring up some of these following suggestions to you, you would tell me that those aren’t things that “good girls” do. I’m here to tell you why you should drop that mentality and need to try some of these things (or all of them, if you’re feeling adventurous). Read more »
Icicles No. 24 Toy Review
Posted in Sex, Toy Review with tags toy review on December 17, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI’ve come across another toy that is finally worth reviewing here. Icicles No. 24 is a glass dildo made by Pipedream. It has one of the most unique shapes that I have ever found but definitely caused a bit of a laugh between my partner and I. This toy is all about texture and it certainly doesn’t let you down on that front. Read more »
Relationship Breath Mints: Keeping a Relationship Fresh
Posted in Communication, Dating, Sex with tags relationships on December 16, 2011 by TarnishedHaloDo you remember how you felt at the very beginning of your relationship? That time when you were trying to impress your partner, when you bought them flowers or cooked them dinner? How often do you get that feeling six months into the relationship? Probably not as often anymore. We’re all guilty of it. We become comfortable in our relationships and stop trying. For some reason we forget that the person they fell in love with was the one from the beginning of the relationship. I have good news for you though, it’s easy to get that excitement back. We’re going to talk about some ways to put that spice from the beginning back into the relationship. And since we all know today’s economy is in the, well you know what, we’re going to go with ways that won’t clean out your bank account. Read more »
Sucking Cock. I promise it’s not as icky as you think.
Posted in Sex with tags fellatio, oral sex, sex on December 10, 2011 by TarnishedHaloSo this post is by special request of one of my very best friends. We were talking and she asked one day how anyone can enjoy giving oral sex. So I promised that I would write about it for her. Here it is, darlin. Yes, I know it’s a few days later than promised. Life got in the way. Side note: I am definitely writing this from the perspective of a woman giving oral sex to a man. I used to think that the idea of giving oral sex to a man was not only gross but degrading to women, until I tried it. I’ve learned a lot since then and have become quite proud of how far I’ve come, ask either of my partners and they’ll be happy to tell you. Read more »