So I had two separate discussions recently that have inspired me to write on a topic that didn’t seem to me to be of much importance. After all, everyone knows about birth control: risks, options, and efficacy, right? Apparently not. In fact, much of the “information” that I hear about it is not only wrong, but is dangerously scaring young women (and men) to forego birth control because of perceived risks that are not supported by fact, so for today we’re going to talk about some myths related to birth control. Read more »
Archive for the Safety Category
Birth Control Myths Demystified
Posted in Birth Control, Safety, Sex with tags birth control, condoms, contraception, myths, safer sex, sex, the pill on February 8, 2012 by TarnishedHaloThings “Good Girls” Don’t Do…and why they should
Posted in Communication, Dating, Safety, Sex with tags communication, safety, sex on December 26, 2011 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever sat down and thought about all of the things that make “bad girls” bad? I’m going to guess not, but if I were to bring up some of these following suggestions to you, you would tell me that those aren’t things that “good girls” do. I’m here to tell you why you should drop that mentality and need to try some of these things (or all of them, if you’re feeling adventurous). Read more »
Domabees and other creatures we wish were mythical
Posted in Kink, Safety, Uncategorized with tags kink, parties, play on December 15, 2011 by TarnishedHaloThe kink community has been a wonderful, open group of people that have helped me grow, learn, experience, question, and change. Unfortunately, there exists, as in every group, some people that are not people you want to be around. One of the most dangerous types out there, are the people we endearingly (or scathingly) call, Domabees. These are people that identify themselves as Dominants, but in reality they’re just manipulative assholes. Now, I know all of you people not involved in the kink scene are thinking “assholes exist in every group, what makes this so-called ‘Domabee’ so dangerous? Read more »
RE: Dominant vs. Abusive Asshole
Posted in Dating, Kink, Safety with tags abusive, Dominance, safety on December 3, 2011 by TarnishedHalohttp://kinkyasiam.blogspot.com/2011/11/dominant-vs-abusive-asshole.html
I absolutely agree in entirety to the above post. A recap for those of you who didn’t actually go read it. Basically, when it comes to kink, many of the defining characteristics of abuse, are not actually abusive behaviours. An abuser generally will try to control the life of the person they are abusing, so does a Dominant. The difference here is consent. A submissive freely gives the power to their Dominant and with that freedom, they can also take consent away at any time. Any time that consent cannot be removed, the dynamic has crossed into abuse. Another topic he mentions is that of removing contacts from a person’s life. One who abuses, seeks to cut communication of their abusee with anyone that could help them out of their situation. Although a Dominant may request that their submissive cut contact with someone in their life, it is ALWAYS going to be for the good of the submissive. A Dominant would never force their submissive to cut contact with friends and family. The last point he brings up is that of physical pain. An abuser will certainly cause pain both physically and mentally on the person they are abusing. In kink, physical pain is common. Again, it comes down to consent. If a submissive has consented to the pain the Dominant is inflicting, then it’s not abuse, but if at any time the submissive withdraws consent, and the Dominant does not stop immediately, it has become abusive behavior. Read more »
Safe Play – Don’t break your toys!
Posted in Communication, Safety with tags bondage, safety, sex, wax on October 21, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI know, this isn’t a fun post, but it has to be done at some point. Bare with me for this one and we’ll get back to the fun stuff on the next one.
I have to start this post off by saying this is by no means a comprehensive collection of information on safety during sex. If you are curious about any of the techniques or ideas mentioned here, there are many resources available and I encourage you to seek them out. Most books about beginning kink will have good information on the most common kinks. A couple of good books for this information are “The Loving Dominant” and “S&M 101″. Both have extensive sections on playing safely. Information is also readily available on the Internet. Fetlife.com is an indispensible resource for information on kink, safety, and meeting other people who can mentor you in techniques for doing whatever it is that you’re into, safely. It is truly vital to research safety before trying any of the techniques mentioned or that you come up with on your own. Failure to do so can lead to injury and on occasion death.