Archive for the Kink Category

What do I get out of submission?

Posted in Dominance/submission, Kink, Personal, Sex with tags , , , on February 16, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

I have made no secret about being in a relationship that includes a certain amount of power exchange. I am a submissive woman. People have asked me why more times than I can count now. Now, I don’t presume to speak for every submissive, in fact, the only person that I speak for in this post is myself, but it’s something that I want to answer.

Submission is the act of giving a specified amount of control of your life over to someone else. This can be everything from just letting them tell you what they want you to do in the bedroom, all the way to giving them complete control over most aspects of your life. On the spectrum, I fall closer to the conservative end. My partner has a certain say so over what I can and cannot do, but I also have a significant amount of autonomy and there are certain things that I would never give someone else to control. Read more »

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ShibariCon or Why everyone should go to a convention

Posted in Kink, Personal with tags , , on January 29, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

Yes, I am going to write a post about a convention or “con”. I never saw myself going to a convention, let alone a convention about kinky sex. Seriously, who does that? Apparently I do, and let me tell you, it was by far one of the greatest experiences of my life.

For those of you who don’t know, ShibariCon is a convention held over Memorial Day Weekend (yes, four whole days [and nights] of fun) devoted entirely to the kink revolving around rope bondage, most specifically targeting Japanese rope bondage (Shibari or Kinbaku), although I did see some Western Style during the late night parties. Read more »

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Erotic Spanking

Posted in Communication, Kink, Personal with tags , , on January 25, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

How many of you have ever smacked your partner’s ass during sex? How many of you have thought about it? Erotic spanking is one of the most common kinks in the world. Why? You ask. Well that’s what we’re here to talk about today. Read more »

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Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land by Douglas Kent Book Review

Posted in Book Reviews, Kink, Safety with tags , , , on January 8, 2012 by TarnishedHalo

I’ve decided that the time is right for another book review. This time I’m going to review a book that has become and invaluable resource for my partner and I when learning to use rope. Even after a good chunk of time working with rope and moving on to more difficult ties, we still refer to this book on a frequent basis because it is simply that good. Douglas Kent’s Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land is one of the best books for those interested in learning to tie Japanese style rope that has ever been written. Read more »

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Sensory Deprivation

Posted in Kink, Sex with tags , , on December 31, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

Have you ever wondered why people use blindfolds in the bedroom? Sensory deprivation is an entire category of kinks but is very easily incorporated into a vanilla relationship. Even something as simple as a blindfold can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. It can be erotic, terrifying, and exciting all at the same time. Let’s talk about how. Read more »

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What is a “Play Party”?

Posted in Kink with tags , on December 31, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

Today is going to be a double post day. This first post is for all of you that are just starting the venture into the kink world or somehow just stumbled upon my blog and found you liked reading it. Anyone who has heard me talk about kink has heard me mention that I was going to a “play party”. This phrase invariably leads to questions and usually a lot of misunderstanding, so I’m going to try to explain what a play party is. Read more »

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Domabees and other creatures we wish were mythical

Posted in Kink, Safety, Uncategorized with tags , , on December 15, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

The kink community has been a wonderful, open group of people that have helped me grow, learn, experience, question, and change. Unfortunately, there exists, as in every group, some people that are not people you want to be around. One of the most dangerous types out there, are the people we endearingly (or scathingly) call, Domabees. These are people that identify themselves as Dominants, but in reality they’re just manipulative assholes. Now, I know all of you people not involved in the kink scene are thinking “assholes exist in every group, what makes this so-called ‘Domabee’ so dangerous? Read more »

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RE: Dominant vs. Abusive Asshole

Posted in Dating, Kink, Safety with tags , , on December 3, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

http://kinkyasiam.blogspot.com/2011/11/dominant-vs-abusive-asshole.html

I  absolutely agree in entirety to the above post. A recap for those of you who didn’t actually go read it. Basically, when it comes to kink, many of the defining characteristics of abuse, are not actually abusive behaviours. An abuser generally will try to control the life of the person they are abusing, so does a Dominant. The difference here is consent. A submissive freely gives the power to their Dominant and with that freedom, they can also take consent away at any time. Any time that consent cannot be removed, the dynamic has crossed into abuse. Another topic he mentions is that of removing contacts from a person’s life. One who abuses, seeks to cut communication of their abusee with anyone that could help them out of their situation. Although a Dominant may request that their submissive cut contact with someone in their life, it is ALWAYS going to be for the good of the submissive. A Dominant would never force their submissive to cut contact with friends and family. The last point he brings up is that of physical pain. An abuser will certainly cause pain both physically and mentally on the person they are abusing. In kink, physical pain is common. Again, it comes down to consent. If a submissive has consented to the pain the Dominant is inflicting, then it’s not abuse, but if at any time the submissive withdraws consent, and the Dominant does not stop immediately, it has become abusive behavior. Read more »

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Why Rope?

Posted in Kink, Personal with tags , , on November 21, 2011 by TarnishedHalo

I will be the first person to tell you that I am a complete and total rope-slut. The feeling of being bound and helpless is one of the biggest turn-ons in the world to me. There are many types of bondage and each has its advantages and its disadvantages, but for me, rope is the best. There isn’t another form of bondage that I’ve tried that even comes close to matching rope and I want to talk about why.
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