Have you ever noticed that we’re taught that we’re supposed to wait until we’re married to have sex and after marriage, the running joke is that no one has sex anymore? A 2001 survey conducted by Durex suggested that unmarried couples have sex an average of 146 times per year, while married couples have sex only 98 times per year. Clearly, after marriage sex becomes less of a priority. Today I want to talk about why it’s important to keep your sex life active, even after you say “I do”. Read more »
Archive for the Dating Category
The Importance of Sex in a Relationship
Posted in Dating, Sex with tags dating, relationships, sex on January 6, 2012 by TarnishedHaloThings “Good Girls” Don’t Do…and why they should
Posted in Communication, Dating, Safety, Sex with tags communication, safety, sex on December 26, 2011 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever sat down and thought about all of the things that make “bad girls” bad? I’m going to guess not, but if I were to bring up some of these following suggestions to you, you would tell me that those aren’t things that “good girls” do. I’m here to tell you why you should drop that mentality and need to try some of these things (or all of them, if you’re feeling adventurous). Read more »
Relationship Breath Mints: Keeping a Relationship Fresh
Posted in Communication, Dating, Sex with tags relationships on December 16, 2011 by TarnishedHaloDo you remember how you felt at the very beginning of your relationship? That time when you were trying to impress your partner, when you bought them flowers or cooked them dinner? How often do you get that feeling six months into the relationship? Probably not as often anymore. We’re all guilty of it. We become comfortable in our relationships and stop trying. For some reason we forget that the person they fell in love with was the one from the beginning of the relationship. I have good news for you though, it’s easy to get that excitement back. We’re going to talk about some ways to put that spice from the beginning back into the relationship. And since we all know today’s economy is in the, well you know what, we’re going to go with ways that won’t clean out your bank account. Read more »
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Posted in Dating with tags break ups, dating on December 7, 2011 by TarnishedHaloBreak ups suck. No one will deny that, but it is something that almost everyone has lived through, will live through, or will have to do sometime in their lives. People will tell you it’s better to do the dumping than it is to get dumped, but having dealt with both, I think both ends of the spectrum are as equally unpleasant. If you are getting broken up with there are usually feelings of hurt and betrayal, and yes it is common to feel embarrassment as well. When you are doing the dumping, most people want to avoid hurt feelings, and don’t want to see the person that they probably still care about at least a little bit, upset. I want to talk a bit about how to make them a little bit easier on everyone. Some of these techniques may or may not help in a particular situation, but they are some ideas to help you get started. Read more »
RE: Dominant vs. Abusive Asshole
Posted in Dating, Kink, Safety with tags abusive, Dominance, safety on December 3, 2011 by TarnishedHalohttp://kinkyasiam.blogspot.com/2011/11/dominant-vs-abusive-asshole.html
I absolutely agree in entirety to the above post. A recap for those of you who didn’t actually go read it. Basically, when it comes to kink, many of the defining characteristics of abuse, are not actually abusive behaviours. An abuser generally will try to control the life of the person they are abusing, so does a Dominant. The difference here is consent. A submissive freely gives the power to their Dominant and with that freedom, they can also take consent away at any time. Any time that consent cannot be removed, the dynamic has crossed into abuse. Another topic he mentions is that of removing contacts from a person’s life. One who abuses, seeks to cut communication of their abusee with anyone that could help them out of their situation. Although a Dominant may request that their submissive cut contact with someone in their life, it is ALWAYS going to be for the good of the submissive. A Dominant would never force their submissive to cut contact with friends and family. The last point he brings up is that of physical pain. An abuser will certainly cause pain both physically and mentally on the person they are abusing. In kink, physical pain is common. Again, it comes down to consent. If a submissive has consented to the pain the Dominant is inflicting, then it’s not abuse, but if at any time the submissive withdraws consent, and the Dominant does not stop immediately, it has become abusive behavior. Read more »
My Story
Posted in Dating, Personal, Polyamory, Sex with tags dating, sex, story on November 13, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI decided today that I want to share with all of you how I came to be who I am today. I did not start out sex positive in my life, quite the opposite in fact. I was raised by a very conservative Catholic family in a very conservative part of the country. I even went to Catholic school for more than half of my years in school. I believed that I was not going to do anything beyond kiss my boyfriend until I got married, and I actually believed this through my first year of college. Read more »
The Art of Opening up a Relationship
Posted in Communication, Dating, Polyamory with tags communication, how-to, open relationships, polyamory on November 12, 2011 by TarnishedHaloSo, you’re thinking about an open relationship. Well good for you. Open relationships can be very rewarding, not to mention fun and exciting but they don’t happen without a lot of work. There are many techniques that you can implement in order to give them a better chance of succeeding though and that’s what we’re going to discuss here today. Read more »
On making mistakes, making up, and being human
Posted in Communication, Dating with tags communication, dating, mistakes on November 8, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI was looking for a new topic to write about today and I had a friend come to me with the following story. Sometimes, good topics really do just fall into your lap. Every relationship has problems and every person makes mistakes. We’re human, and far from perfect. What makes a relationship successful or causes its end is how we deal with the problems within it. I want to tell you my friend’s story. This is perhaps one of the best examples of dealing with making a mistake in a relationship I’ve ever seen. Read more »
Living a Double Life
Posted in Dating, Polyamory with tags kink, polyamory, relationships on November 6, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI am proud of who I am. I am polyamorous, kinky, and happy but in the real world, this can be a dangerous combination. My generation has made great strides towards tolerance and acceptance, especially on the topic of homosexuality. In the United States, for the first time in recorded history, more than 50% of people believe that gay marriage should be legal! Sadly the same gains have not been made in the other alternative sexualities, making many of us partaking in them having to hide part of ourselves from other people. Read more »
Fake Orgasms
Posted in Communication, Dating, Sex with tags communication, orgasms, sex on November 2, 2011 by TarnishedHaloLet’s start with a story. Mary meets Jim. They hit it off immediately. They go on a few dates and decide they want to have sex. They have fun, but Jim just isn’t doing what Mary needs in order to orgasm. They continue for awhile. Mary sees that Jim is starting to get frustrated and tired. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she decides to do what many women (and sometimes men) do and she has a fake orgasm, screaming and the whole nine yards. Jim seems pleased with himself and allows himself to finish. They spend the night together. Jim and Mary have sex again. Jim does all of the same things and Mary doesn’t orgasm. She sees him getting frustrated, so she fakes another orgasm. This continues for a number of dates and finally Mary breaks up with Jim. Jim is hurt and confused. Unfortunately, this situation is far more common than anyone would like to admit, so let’s talk about fake orgasms. Read more »