How many of you have ever smacked your partner’s ass during sex? How many of you have thought about it? Erotic spanking is one of the most common kinks in the world. Why? You ask. Well that’s what we’re here to talk about today. Read more »
Archive for the Communication Category
Erotic Spanking
Posted in Communication, Kink, Personal with tags beginners, kink, spanking on January 25, 2012 by TarnishedHaloThings “Good Girls” Don’t Do…and why they should
Posted in Communication, Dating, Safety, Sex with tags communication, safety, sex on December 26, 2011 by TarnishedHaloHave you ever sat down and thought about all of the things that make “bad girls” bad? I’m going to guess not, but if I were to bring up some of these following suggestions to you, you would tell me that those aren’t things that “good girls” do. I’m here to tell you why you should drop that mentality and need to try some of these things (or all of them, if you’re feeling adventurous). Read more »
Relationship Breath Mints: Keeping a Relationship Fresh
Posted in Communication, Dating, Sex with tags relationships on December 16, 2011 by TarnishedHaloDo you remember how you felt at the very beginning of your relationship? That time when you were trying to impress your partner, when you bought them flowers or cooked them dinner? How often do you get that feeling six months into the relationship? Probably not as often anymore. We’re all guilty of it. We become comfortable in our relationships and stop trying. For some reason we forget that the person they fell in love with was the one from the beginning of the relationship. I have good news for you though, it’s easy to get that excitement back. We’re going to talk about some ways to put that spice from the beginning back into the relationship. And since we all know today’s economy is in the, well you know what, we’re going to go with ways that won’t clean out your bank account. Read more »
The Art of Opening up a Relationship
Posted in Communication, Dating, Polyamory with tags communication, how-to, open relationships, polyamory on November 12, 2011 by TarnishedHaloSo, you’re thinking about an open relationship. Well good for you. Open relationships can be very rewarding, not to mention fun and exciting but they don’t happen without a lot of work. There are many techniques that you can implement in order to give them a better chance of succeeding though and that’s what we’re going to discuss here today. Read more »
On making mistakes, making up, and being human
Posted in Communication, Dating with tags communication, dating, mistakes on November 8, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI was looking for a new topic to write about today and I had a friend come to me with the following story. Sometimes, good topics really do just fall into your lap. Every relationship has problems and every person makes mistakes. We’re human, and far from perfect. What makes a relationship successful or causes its end is how we deal with the problems within it. I want to tell you my friend’s story. This is perhaps one of the best examples of dealing with making a mistake in a relationship I’ve ever seen. Read more »
Fake Orgasms
Posted in Communication, Dating, Sex with tags communication, orgasms, sex on November 2, 2011 by TarnishedHaloLet’s start with a story. Mary meets Jim. They hit it off immediately. They go on a few dates and decide they want to have sex. They have fun, but Jim just isn’t doing what Mary needs in order to orgasm. They continue for awhile. Mary sees that Jim is starting to get frustrated and tired. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she decides to do what many women (and sometimes men) do and she has a fake orgasm, screaming and the whole nine yards. Jim seems pleased with himself and allows himself to finish. They spend the night together. Jim and Mary have sex again. Jim does all of the same things and Mary doesn’t orgasm. She sees him getting frustrated, so she fakes another orgasm. This continues for a number of dates and finally Mary breaks up with Jim. Jim is hurt and confused. Unfortunately, this situation is far more common than anyone would like to admit, so let’s talk about fake orgasms. Read more »
Safe Play – Don’t break your toys!
Posted in Communication, Safety with tags bondage, safety, sex, wax on October 21, 2011 by TarnishedHaloI know, this isn’t a fun post, but it has to be done at some point. Bare with me for this one and we’ll get back to the fun stuff on the next one.
I have to start this post off by saying this is by no means a comprehensive collection of information on safety during sex. If you are curious about any of the techniques or ideas mentioned here, there are many resources available and I encourage you to seek them out. Most books about beginning kink will have good information on the most common kinks. A couple of good books for this information are “The Loving Dominant” and “S&M 101″. Both have extensive sections on playing safely. Information is also readily available on the Internet. Fetlife.com is an indispensible resource for information on kink, safety, and meeting other people who can mentor you in techniques for doing whatever it is that you’re into, safely. It is truly vital to research safety before trying any of the techniques mentioned or that you come up with on your own. Failure to do so can lead to injury and on occasion death.
Negotiation – Communication before things go too far
Posted in Communication with tags communication, kink, negotiation, vanilla on October 19, 2011 by TarnishedHaloIn the kink community, negotiations are a vital task before two or more people play with each other. During negotiations, the people planning to participate in the scene sit down and discuss everything about the scene. Anyone with physical limitations such as weak ankles, back problems or a tendency to pass out brings them up at this time. Everyone also discusses any hard limits that they may have. These can be anything from “you can’t hit me on the bottoms of my feet” to “I will not participate in anything that involves bodily fluids”. Generally there will also be a discussion on what each person likes and dislikes. There is little point to having a scene if someone doesn’t like what is going on in it. This just leads to feelings of resentment and anger all around. One last thing, and probably the most important thing, that is discussed is a safe word. Safe words are a word that if said during a scene to stop the scene immediately, for any reason: physical, mental, emotional, or any combination of these and more.