I’m not going to kid you, rope suspension looks awesome, dynamic rope suspension performances (when the bottom changes position in air without touching the ground) look even cooler but I can tell you that they are certainly not the end-all of rope. What’s more, I can tell you that suspension isn’t even the best part. I can say this from the perspective of both the top and the bottom. Don’t get me wrong though, I love suspension. Flying through the air is one of the most exhilarating feelings in the world. Pretending that the laws of gravity don’t apply is magical, but it’s still not the best part.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people try to use open relationships to fix things. I can tell you how many times I’ve seen it work though. That number is zero.
Open relationships are hard work. They require an unprecedented amount of trust in both your part and your relationship, communication, and willingness to deal with unpleasant emotions. Opening a relationship to solve problems is inherently flawed. Let’s think about it for a moment. You know that your relationship is already having trouble, from jealousy or any other problem, rather than try to work through the problem, you choose to open the relationship. What have you just done? Read more »
I have had a significant number of people in my life come to me asking about the new book, Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James as it deals with BDSM and power exchange relationships. In order to inform them intelligently about my opinions on the books, I chose to read them myself. They have taken a lot of criticism in the kink community for a multitude of reasons, but overall, they aren’t that bad, as long as you going into it knowing that it is a work of fiction that started as Twilight fan fiction. The author never suggests that what she writes is based on fact, that being said, she did get a lot of things right about kink, but she also got a lot of things wrong. Read more »
We’ve discussed a little about polyamory and what it entails in other posts, but for a quick review. Polyamory is the idea that multiple loving relationships can be sustained concurrently. Polyamory is not cheating as cheating implies a certain amount of non-consent by one or more of the parties involved. Now, what I really want to discuss today is one of the biggest pitfalls encountered in polyamory: jealousy. Read more »
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Lack of inspiration will do that to you, but at last, I have something that I’m interested in writing about. The new hit novel Fifty Shades of Gray and the subsequent sequels have brought BDSM into the mainstream view, with many, women especially, desiring to try this out. One of the biggest things that this novel has brought is the idea of a relationship based on power exchange. Now, anyone in the kink community that has read Fifty Shades will tell you that the relationship presented there is completely unrealistic, but it’s a good starting point to get people talking, so for today we’re going to talk about the different types of power exchanges and some of my personal definitions for each type of relationship. Please keep in mind that there is no one right answer in BDSM and many people within the kink community will have differing opinions and definitions from the ones that I present here. Read more »
The concept of beauty has changed over time, a lot. In ancient Egypt, body hair was considered unclean and small, thin women were considered the most attractive (1). During the Renaissance women with a bit of extra weight were considered the most beautiful, partially because it meant that the family had enough food to feed the family (2). During the Victorian Age, beauty was focused on the natural. Women that used less make up were more beautiful but had an obsession with the corset and making their waistline as small as possible (3). The pretty women of the Twenties were the party girls (or flappers). They drank, smoked, and took risks. This was the period of the “boy look” inspired by Coco Chanel. So vital was it to achieve this look that women would even tape their breasts to make them look smaller (4). The Fifties brought us role models such as Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly. They were a celebration of femininity, curves and all. The focus was on accentuation of positives and playing down negatives (5). During the early years of the 21st century, beauty was about what I like to call “the barbie look”. Women with big breasts, small frames, and tan skin were beautiful. Today, we are seeing a change yet again, but this time, the change isn’t being made with the leaders and role models, it’s being made by the populace. Larger framed women are becoming the definition of beauty once again. I personally believe that this is wonderful, but I see something else about it that concerns me, “skinny bashing”. Read more »
Here’s a short story for you. Someone young (let’s say 25) writes about something that they know a lot and feel passionately about. Their writing is very extensive, comprehensive, and well done, but someone mentions to them that they shouldn’t be writing because they don’t have enough experience or because they are so young. Do you see the same problem here that I do? This person is being discriminated against because of their age or the length of time they’ve been doing something. Read more »
There is no worse feeling in the world than finding out that your partner has cheated on you. But what do you do when your partner doesn’t believe that they’ve done anything wrong? Cheating is a complex topic because every person that you ask has a different idea of what constitutes cheating. For some people, simply looking at another person in a desirous way is cheating. For others, even having sex with someone else isn’t considered cheating. Read more »
So, in continuation of my series on polyamory, today I want to address some reasons that people might enter a polyamorous relationship. This is not meant to be a conclusive list, but rather to give an idea of why someone might choose this lifestyle. In reality, the reasons for entering such a relationship are as varied as the different types of set ups and even as the people people within the relationships. Read more »
So it’s been a few weeks since I posted, school and lack of inspiration will do that to you, but I am very excited to be able to post again, so without further ado.
Has anyone ever said something along the lies of “I really like him/her, but I can’t date him/her because I might get hurt”? Have you said this yourself? I know I have and I know a lot of other people with this mentality as well. We really need to take a step back sometimes and think about what a relationship is, how they work and what our expectations are. Read more »